The Ex You’re Still Dating (In Your Mind)

Energetic ties, trauma bonding & why letting go is a spiritual act!

Okay, let’s drop the sugarcoating... you might not be texting him, seeing him, or even liking his posts anymore… but if your thoughts still orbit him when you’re alone or your body still reacts when his name comes up, then some part of you is still in that relationship.

You’re not crazy. You’re not weak, you’re not even necessarily still in love, you’re entangled emotionally, subconsciously and yes, sometimes spiritually.

These ties, often called energetic cords, are like invisible threads connecting your energy field to theirs. Neuroscience actually backs this up: trauma bonds activate brain pathways similar to addiction. That explains why letting go can feel impossible, like your heart and mind are stuck on repeat. It’s not just in your head, it’s how your body and energy respond to intense emotional experiences.

Energetic cords can form through big, dramatic moments, like painful breakups or betrayals but they also sneak in through subtle, repeated patterns, endless cycles of conflict, emotional dependency or even just the familiar rhythm of someone’s presence in your daily life. Your energy field literally carries their imprint. That’s why sometimes you can feel their mood, their pain or their vibe long after they’ve left.

And here’s the kicker: holding on isn’t always about wanting to be with that person. Sometimes, it’s about holding onto familiarity, even if it’s painful. Cutting these cords can feel like losing a part of yourself, because you’ve been energetically intertwined for so long. It takes courage and often support, whether through healing work, sound therapy, coaching or other spiritual practices.

Here’s something not everyone talks about: these unresolved energetic ties can block your current and future relationships. It’s like trying to build a new house on a cracked foundation. Until you clear those old connections, the new love you want may struggle to fully arrive or feel “right.”

So if you find yourself stuck, obsessing over an ex or just feeling drained and off, take it as a sign your energy is still tangled and that’s okay. Awareness is the first step to freedom.

Remember, healing doesn’t mean forgetting or erasing what was real. It’s about reclaiming your power to choose who you want in your life and how you want to feel. We rarely talk about this but if long after a breakup, there are still cords energetically connected, it’s because there was trauma, a deep soul bond or a part of you that never fully closed the door. These cords can permanently live in your body, your nervous system and your energy field, especially if the relationship had strong polarity, emotional highs and lows or addictive chemistry.

And every time you go back in your mind, replaying the good moments, imagining what he’s doing now, checking his feed, you're keeping that energy alive. You're still in the dance, even if you haven’t spoken in months or even years.

This is what we don’t always realise: The body doesn’t care if it’s a memory or real, it still releases the same hormones, emotions, reactions. You get the same dopamine, the same crash, the same grief loop.

The good news?

These cords can be intentionally cleared or cut. Meditation, visualization and rituals can help you reclaim your energy and create space for something new. Clearing this energetic baggage isn’t just about the past, it’s about opening your heart and your life for the relationships and experiences that truly align with who you are now.

When two people connect intimately, especially through love, sex or emotional intensity, their energy systems literally link. Think of it like plugging your phone into someone else’s battery pack. Even when you unplug physically, sometimes the energetic charge stays.

That’s why you might feel drained after thinking of them or suddenly feel heavy for no reason, you can feel them “pop into your head” at random or have dreams that shake you for days.

Cord-cutting isn’t just some woo-woo ritual, it’s a powerful spiritual act. It’s about calling your energy back. Closing the open tabs. Severing the invisible threads that keep your power scattered across timelines that no longer serve you.

But here’s a soft reminder if your heart still holds hope:

Not all separations mean it’s over forever.

Sometimes space is what heals and sometimes the people who are meant for us need to lose us before they realise what they had. Letting go doesn't always mean never again, it just means letting go of the version of the connection that was hurting you.

The toxic attachment signs Vs signs your other half may really be coming back.

When it’s time to cut the cord...the toxic attachment signs:

You feel heavy around this person’s energy like a weight on your chest, not a lift. It’s exhausting to think about them or even be near them. Your intuition often says, “This isn’t good for me" but your mind keeps making excuses.

You’re stuck in cycles of pain, confusion or even shame, like replaying the same sad song on loop. You might catch yourself obsessing or feeling triggered by little things that remind you of them.

Your life feels off-track when they’re in your mind. You’re less aligned with your goals, your joy or even basic peace and despite trying to “fix” or “wait it out,” nothing really improves.

There’s no sense of mutual growth or respect anymore. It’s more about control, fear or neediness energy that drains you, not fuels you.

In that case, the cord is a trap, a chain holding you to a version of yourself that needs healing. Cutting the cord becomes a way to reclaim your freedom and start fresh.

When it feels light and more aligned... signs your other half may really be coming back:

There’s a softness in your heart when you think of them not anxiety or pain but curiosity and peace.

You feel an energetic “pull” that’s calm, not frantic. Like two magnets gently coming together rather than clashing or pushing apart.

Your intuition whispers, “This is still right" and it’s accompanied by a sense of timing, you’re both growing and evolving, even if you’re apart for now.

There’s no pressure or need to force things. The connection feels spacious and open, like there’s room to breathe and be yourself.

You notice positive signs in your dreams, synchronicities or moments of clarity, like the universe nudging you gently toward reconnection.

Most importantly, you’re aligned with your own growth and well-being first. The thought of them supports your happiness instead of shaking your foundation.

Back to you.

You’re not meant to live stuck in an old story. The longer you stay energetically linked to someone who’s not in your life, the longer you delay the next chapter. The real healing happens not when you forget them… but when you remember yourself again.

Because here's the deal: staying energetically loyal to a past that doesn’t hold your future, that’s not love. That’s a slow death of your potential.

And you, my love, are here to live fully, freely and deeply aligned.

With Love & Realness

Maria